Help
by amberlexie
Summary: Marinette saw something. Something she cant forget. Nightmares begin to pierce through her sleep. It doesn't help that she's got a certain someone on her mind. What if her nightmare becomes a reality? What if in the end Ladybug becomes no more? Should she tell Chat who she really is? TW for mental health issues.
1. Chapter 1

Ok, so it seems someone already has gotten upset over the other story finishing (reeeeeeeeeeeaaaaalllly sorry!). But I promise, I really didn't have anything to give to it! Now, I would like to give a polite notice that this may trigger people that have suffered from anxiety or depression or anything like that. I hope you will all like this :3. Any questions just private message me or ask in comments. I'm never really busy XD. (Private message preferred, not sure how to reply to specific people in the reviews section). note: vaguely checked my spelling and grammar, probably not on point.

Fear rushed through me. Midnight, cloudy surroundings. All, all the akumas I had fought with Chat stood in front of me, grinning maliciously. I was stepping back slowly, then quickly as they walked towards me. I was on a dock, getting closer and closer to the edge of the walkway. Closer to the freezing cold water. The didn't stop. Closer. Closer towards me. I took an uneasy step and fell, screaming as I was dropped into a never ending darkness that would freeze me to death. The drop was far and the water I got nearer the water as I fell. A loud, smacking sound was heard as I hit the water.

I jolted forward in my bed, inhaling sharply, causing me to choke. I was bubbling up in tears. The moment was quick and overwhelming. My fears were getting the best of me. It had happened before but not like this. This was leading to death.

Mum rushed through my door and up the stairs to my bed."Marinette?! Are you ok hun?" She frantically checked my temperature and she patted my back to stop me choking, but I stopped on my own. I kept crying. Emotion running through my veins. I latched onto her shoulders, tears dripping onto them, my hair falling over my face as I leaned my head onto her chest.

"Mari…" she hugged me tightly, sitting on my bed and looked me in the eyes, gently holding my shoulders. "Maybe...you can stay off school today. Just to calm yourself." Smiling at me softly, she let go of me, stood up and walked down the creaky stairs and closed my door. I flopped back onto my bed, my eyes red and puffy, heart beating fast. Nothing felt right. I was upset with no real reason and my anxieties were coming out with the upset. I was scared. Yesterday I woke without a care in the world (some care, of course.) then today was just, well, different. I was tired. Like really tired. I even went to bed at a reasonable time! Patrol was quick, which was very helpful. I didn't know what to do.

I just had to tell myself I wasn't going to die. That this doesn't mean anything. That I'm just overanalysing.

…Or is this something to be scared of?


	2. Chapter 2

Hey guys! So it seems that my story is liked already and support and reviews are much appreciated! It would really make my day. Anyway, this chapter does include parent problems. Just wanted to make you flowers aware. Enjoy!

"Sabine shut the hell up! The bakery isn't just yours, it's mine and yours! You don't have complete rule!"

"I didn't say I did, Tom! I only took one of the pastries off the board! They weren't selling well!"

"I don't care! You just shouldn't have done it!"

The littlest things blew their tops. Nothing was right between them anymore. They despised each other at times. As I pulled up my legs onto my desk chair, I started gently hugging them, nestling my head in them, tears pouring. My day had gotten worse by the minute. A loud bang on the wall from the bakery made my ornaments shake viciously. I started digging my nails into my legs, leaving small marks. Beauty and the Beast was paused on my pink rimmed computer. Only paused because I couldn't hear it. I was too busy crying and the noise from downstairs was terrifying and mind-shattering. My mind wasn't blank. Just fuzzy. Very fuzzy. Blurred and grey. It was only an hour after school started. Even though I would burst into tears at any moment, I would rather be there than here.

"I'm leaving until tonight, jackass!" A slam of a door from my mother sounded out, my father banging his fist on the wall once again. I was scared.

Again.

A few hours and a couple of Disney films later, I just felt nothing. Like I was empty. It was all slow and tranquil. I didn't just feel empty. I felt slightly upset. Not too upset. I stared at my computer screen, mind now just blank. I sighed heavily as I twiddled my messed up hair. A knock

"Hey, can I come in..?" A soft tone.

"…"

"Marinette?" I quickly brought myself out of my blank thoughts. I didn't want to leave them.

"What? Yea! Come in. Sorry, I was distracted for a moment…" my dad walked in, but didn't go towards me. He just smiled. Like nothing happened earlier. He seemed a bit worried for me, so I wasn't surprised he came up to my room. The time was around 2pm and I had missed lunch. Quite frankly, I wasn't hungry. Not a bit. Just sad. And completely out of it.

"Your mum said you had some problems this morning…is everything ok?" He asked carefully, not wanting to upset me. I nodded, putting a strand of my hair behind my ear. I crossed my legs as I sat on my desk chair.

"It was just a dream. It was overwhelming." I laughed slightly, but it wasn't the happiest of laughs. More emotionless with a hint of despair.

"Well, I hope you feel better soon. Do you want anything to eat..?" I shook my head to his question. He nodded and smiled at me. "Maybe you should get some sleep." He left the room, closing the door gently. Sighing, I was thankful I was alone again. Happy I was distant. I walked over to the light switch, tugging at the bottom of my pyjama shorts, pulling them down slightly as they were riding up my leg. I flicked the switch off, walking up the stairs to my bed, slowly. I stood in front of my bed. Just stood. Silent.

"Tiki…"

"I thought it was best to leave you be. You looked like you wanted some alone time." She spoke with sympathy in her voice as she flew over to me. "What happened in your dream..?"

"Nightmare. Nightmare, actually." I sighed. "All the the akumas were giving me these devilish looks, closing in on me. I fell off a high up walkway. Like really high. I crashed onto the water as I screamed and woke up. I was scared Tiki, really scared.." I looked at her, frightened. She looked into my eyes, giving me a soft, worried look.

"It will all be ok..it's just your anxieties getting to you…" she kissed my forehead. "Sleep." She flew off. She looked like she had dealt with this before. I didn't dare ask. I got onto my bed and closed my eyes, resting my head on my pillow. Delectable sleep.

My ringtone started going off, making me wake. I didn't have another nightmare fortunately. I sat up, groaning and I rubbed my eyes, picking up my phone. A text from an unknown number? I looked confused at my phone. I swiped the text and it came up with my messages. My eyes widened slightly, fear pumping through me. I read out the message to myself..

"Thought you could miss the event in your honour? You have big guts. Don't miss it tomorrow. You are going to get your punishment, bitch. And don't forget, he is mine, not yours." I stayed silent, and put my phone down.

"Oh crap…."


	3. Chapter 3 and an explanation :

Major TW about suicide, depression, anxiety, etc for the explanation. Skip ahead to see chapter 3.

Ok. So let me explain where I went. I personally struggle with mental health issues and lost all interest in writing. I lost myself, my personality, etc. I actually gained a few personalities as far as I'm aware and it isn't exactly enjoyable. I went completely insane in September and October 2017 due to antidepressant meds I was put on for severe suicidal thoughts and severe self-harm. I began seeing things, hearing things, I was a complete mess and actually started screaming and crying just outside my class. It was a horrible experience. In October I overdosed on my meds twice and was in the hospital for 2 weeks on and off. I got taken off the meds not long after my first overdose. I'm personally not in a good place right now and I hope you can all understand why I've been gone so long and I will try to keep up with my writing.

I took a deep breath and gazed over the text once more. I couldn't do it. I couldn't stay calm. Fear overwhelmed me like a suffocating blanket. My heart raced in panic and I began to feel the tears stream down my face as if my eyes were faucets. I knew exactly who had sent the text. The blue-eyed, blonde-haired bitch from her classes: Chloe. Chloe had a MASS crush on Adrien and made it clear to everyone that he was hers, almost like how an animal claims territory. I had entered that territory and it wasn't going to end well. At all. I fell back onto my pillow, managing to finally fight back the tears as I wiped away the remaining ones. I couldn't get too upset. I couldn't get akumatised. Tikki frowned at me sympathetically from across the dim lit room. I turned away from her. I didn't want to deal with the questions of "are you ok?" and the casually nosy "what happened?". I skimmed over the text once more, then checked the time. I groaned, tired and annoyed. In bright white, my phone stated 1:35 am at the top of the screen. I just closed my eyes, hoping the covers of my bed would swallow me up and never let me go. I had to face the monster of Chloé Bourgeois tomorrow and I wasn't prepared...

My alarm blared out the horrific noise it always did. I felt like throwing across the room, however, Tikki and my parents wouldn't be pleased. I hit the snooze button every time, but I knew I had to go forward with the day, no matter how bad the day may be. I rolled out of bed and slumped over to my desk chair. I had no interest in checking my phone just yet. Then I realised I had 5 minutes to get out of the door. I could almost scream at myself but kept my cool. I threw on my clothes, grabbed my bag, phone and Tikki, and raced out the door.

I had managed to run into Alya on the way to school. By run into I meant literally. I went straight into her, both of us toppling over onto the pavement.

"Oh my god, Alya! I'm so sorry!" I looked her, my face full of guilt. She just laughed, both at my guilt and the fact we both fell over.

"Mari, it's fine! Calm down." She smiled gently at me, pushing up her glasses that had fallen to the tip of her nose. Her hazel eyes glistened through her glasses. No matter what, Alya tried to always be cheerful. Especially after an akuma had affected her. I felt I should have protected her more when that happened. I felt like I should have prevented it, being Ladybug and all. We both stood up and laughed it off, walking the rest of the way to school together. My darkest thoughts faded from my mind, the nightmare nowhere in sight. I completely forgot about the text.

"YOU!"

I swivelled around to see Chloé, fuming from head to toe in a rage that can be only described as red. All she saw and all she was, was red. Soon enough, the words of the text rolled around in my head. I stumbled back slightly.

"Get lost, Chloé! Leave Mari alone." Alya glared at Chloé, slightly pissed off.

"Stay out of this, Césaire." Chloé grimaced. She was completely self-centered and if anyone talked to her that she didn't like she would react in a disgusted sort of way. It was twisted, but that's Chloé in a nutshell. I turned back around and kept walking, fear overtaking my entire being. I upped my pace slightly too, making it up the steps-

"Don't you DARE walk away from ME!" she screeched. She was angry and had plans. Not a great combo. Chloe was generally quite vivacious, but it wasn't a good vivacious. It was negative, screamy and overall annoying. I turned around again to face her, Chloé much closer to me than she previously was. She was right in my face. I gulped. She grinned cruelly, taking the lid off her coffee as she looked straight at me. Next thing I knew, hot liquid began to seep down my face and soaked my shirt. It was fortunate that the coffee was lukewarm, so I didn't get burnt. Just embarrassment. Everyone and I mean EVERYONE stared, laughing to the point of pissing themselves. I flushed a burning red. The embarrassment took over. I looked down in shame, the laughs becoming louder and louder each time. I felt my eyes begin to bubble with tears.

"There will be more coming your way if you ever go near my Adrikins again..." I could feel Chloé glaring at me, grinning and laughing at the comedy show I had become.

"Hey! HEY! Show's over! Get lost!" Alya's voice began to overpower the laughter and sound of pictures being taken. As she guided me inside the building, I heard a familiar voice. A sweet, gentle one.

"You shouldn't have done that, Chloé. It wasn't kind." Adrien had intervened to an extent. I didn't dare look over at him. I didn't want him seeing me in the state I was. The entire situation was painful and it wouldn't stop hurting. I tried my best to block out the nightmare from trickling into my mind too. Alya got me into a bathroom.

"You're ok, right? Well, of course, you aren't, you've just had coffee tipped over you in front of everyone." Alya's voice trailed off. I stopped concentrating. Everything went blank. Fuzzy. Dull. Grey. I just stood there, laying against the wall. I could feel Tikki wanting to come out of my bag, to console me.

"Mari? Marinette? Is anyone in there?" Alya gave me a worried expression, shaking me gently.

"S..sorry. I guess I went out of it for a second.." I looked down slightly. Alya pulled me in for a hug, not caring that she too would get coffee on her. I still stood there, my arms drooping down by my side. I didn't feel like I was even Ladybug. I just felt like a helpless girl stuck in some sort of hell...


	4. Chapter 4

Hi again! I'm finally getting further into writing so that's all good. I've added more detail to the plot and decided to change a few things so now I have more of an idea of where to go with this. Enjoy!

My whole being felt numb. Alya's warmth was the only warmth I felt. She had given me a dry, pink hoodie to change into. The hoodie stated "Coffee" in huge, white italic letters with a bright red heart right next to it. Coffee was the last thing on my love list at this point. The irony made me smirk slightly, which lit up Alya's face tremendously.

"I hope you have some shorts or something." I giggled. I felt slightly bare in just a hoodie and spotted underwear, dancing around somewhat to make a fool of myself. It made me feel better.

"Hang on a second! I think I have some denim shorts in my locker. I'll be back in a sec!" Alya beamed and signalled to me as she walked out of the bathroom. I gazed into the mirror, scanning over my current appearance.

"I look...decent?" I sighed as I let my damp pigtails down and my dark hair straddled around my face.

"Your hair looks cutesy like that, Mari!" Tikki had miraculously (wow I'm fucking hilarious) discovered a way out of my bag and was resting on my shoulder. She smiled at my reflection then frowned.

"Have you thought about what happened the other day? On patrol?"

I stayed silent, looking away from the mirror and my smile disappearing from my face.

"You...you couldn't have anticipated it. Don't beat yourself up about it. Marinette?" Scalding tears fell down my cheeks.

"What I saw that day is something I don't want to remember, Tikki. "

"Please, Marinette. Talk to me! Something's been going on-" A knock at the door.

"It's just me!" Alya opened the bathroom door and threw the slightly ripped shorts at me. Tikki had vanished behind a stall and hid.

"Was it really necessary to throw them?" I stared down at the floor as I slipped on the shorts.

"Have you been crying again?" Alya had ignored my question. I could sense the panic within her tone.

"No," I muttered. I wanted to get out of the bathroom ASAP and back to some form of normality. Even if that did mean dealing with the stares of bypassers and classmates. "I'm ok." I lifted my head up carefully to face her as I finished putting on the shorts and cocked it slightly with a stupid grin spanning across my face. I stood up straight before opening the door. Just as Alya wasn't looking, Tikki swooped across the room straight into my bag.

I froze. Standing in front of me was none other than Adrien Agreste. A light shade of pink flushed across my cheeks.

"A-A-Adrien!" Stammering, I swept some hair behind my ear.

"God, Marinette. I'm so sorry for what Chloe did..." An expression of anger flashed over his face, looking to the side vaguely, but regained a kind expression as he looked back at me. "She should have never done that."

"It's fine! Really." I was chuckling nervously. What was I saying?! It wasn't fine! I was pissed off and upset.

Alya gave me a confused look, knowing that I of all people really wasn't ok with what happened, but shook it off nonetheless. I took in a deep breath, really wishing I could just disappear.

"Well, it's good to see that you are ok." His smile only caused the pink across my cheeks to brighten. I managed to get to class with both Alya and Adrien swiftly. Everyone was in class...

I was on a large tiled roof wearing the infamous red black-spotted suit belonging to Ladybug. My yo-yo was being swung around, ready to attack. Chat Noir was standing by my side, flashing a cheeky grin to keep my hopes high. We looked down at our opponent. An akumatised boy, no older than 14, was standing up on the bridge. We had been fighting for over an hour. This akuma was difficult. As we looked down at him, he stepped to the edge of the rusted rails of the bridge. Chat glanced at me, a pang of panic developing on his face. Suddenly, the akuma-

"Marinette Dupain-Cheng! Wake up this instant!" Miss Mendeleiev was trying her best to not completely explode. I felt tears trickling from my eyes as I jolted up in shock. Oh shit, I was sleeping. Chloé was snickering in the background, attempting to get everyone to join in. Alya put her hand on my shoulder gently.

"I'm so sorry Miss Mendeleiev!" I became frantic instantly, wiping away the liquid from my eyes. I looked around at the class, everyone whispering, some giving less concerning looks than others. I was a lot more concerned about the nightmare. It wasn't like the one from before, but instead a replay of the recent patrol. I didn't want to remember. Why, oh why, did I have to dream about that?! The memories began to seep back into my mind.

Miss Mendeleiev was scowling at me in annoyance. She began to get on with the class again. Everyone was startled by the missing punishment in our conversation. I put it down to Miss Mendeleiev realising I was unhappy and didn't wish to deal with it. She never was good with teens or children for that matter.

"Mari," Alya nudged me. "You were with Chat the night of that boy?"

"W-what?" I didn't understand what she was going on about. I must've mumbled something as I was dreaming. I then realised the severity of the situation. I only just managed to play it off. Adrien's eyes were wide as he took his gaze towards me. I didn't understand why. I didn't think I wanted to.

Home. I had rushed out of the school doors the instant I could. I didn't have time to deal with Chloé. I had made my way up to my room. Notes had been left on the front door. Dad wasn't going to be home until late. Or mum. I fell onto my bed face first and screamed.

"She doesn't know you are Ladybug! Don't stress, Marinette." Tikki pleaded, trying to unscramble the thoughts in my mind for me.

"I'm not even strong enough to be Ladybug, Tikki!" My voice was muffled as I spoke. My head felt too heavy to raise.

"You are. You are strong enough!" She flew over to me, I sat up and didn't dare to look Tikki in the eyes.

"I might not even go on patrol tonight. Chat is able to deal with it himself..."

My clock showed the numbers 21:00 through the window. I groaned. All I wanted to do was erase today. Erase it and never have to live through it again. Erase Chloé if I could. I brought my knees to my chest, holding them with one arm. I held a teacup to my mouth but gazed into it, watching the drink move from side to side slowly as the breeze blew past. It wasn't very light outside now but enough to be out, the sun seemingly setting in the distance.

"Princess?" A familiar face was couched down on the balcony railing, looking at me with concern.

"Chat..." I looked up at him. "What are you doing here?"

"My lady never showed up for patrol," His eyes filled with sadness as he glanced around, then he smiled sweetly at me. "So I decided to visit!" He had been visiting a lot more frequently, his actions more nervous every time. Then I remembered. Patrol. I missed it. I couldn't find the strength to go. Tikki was incredibly disapproving but she couldn't force me. "I also heard you had a bad day."

I laughed at him lightly. Bad was an understatement.

"Getting coffee poured over me wasn't exactly the plan. Nor was saying stuff in my sleep." I shook my head a little bit, placed my cup on the table and put on a smile for him. "I'm fine now though!" He frowned at me, worried. He jumped onto the main balcony area and pulled me up into a sudden hug.

"Please don't lie to me, Princess." He mumbled into my ear. My heart skipped a beat. The same feeling I got around Adrien grew. My arms lay beside me and he detached, realising how awkward what he did was.

"Sorry, I'm just worried and thought you could do with a-"

"Don't worry about it." I smiled nervously, blushing. God, I'm so awkward. Why am I acting like this around Chat though?! I DEFINITELY don't like him like that. Right?

"I don't like you lying to me. You can tell me the truth." He grinned confidently, "I'm very understanding!" He managed to provoke a small laugh out of me. He gazed affectionately into my eyes as I laughed, sort of like how he did when I was Ladybug. It didn't even cross my mind that he may have known something. The air around us danced, the warm summer breeze encasing us in its soft grip. I noticed the look on his face and my heart fluttered. This couldn't be happening.

"Don't ever feel like you are less than anyone, Marinette Dupain-Cheng. You are special, different..." He gulped, his movements uncertain and stuttery.

"Chat-" He caught me abruptly in a gentle embrace, kissing me tenderly, one of his hands cupped around my face, the other slid down my back, holding me close.


End file.
